I don't have the answers.

What will life ever become? What should I be doing with myself?  Does it matter if I use this degree?  Does it matter if I’m ever “successful”? Especially when my definition varies so drastically than that of others?  I’m not sure any of it matters, honestly.  When our time is up on this Earth, where do we go?  Are we rewarded for good deeds, and what counts as ‘good’?

All I’ve ever wanted was to feel alive.  Sometimes, the consequences were positive.  Other times, negative.  Am I a good or bad person?  Where is the line drawn?  Surely, with life’s varying shades of grey, it can’t be that black and white.  Surely, we shouldn’t classify ourselves like that.  And surely, we shouldn’t classify each other like that.  How do you think of others in your mind?

Can there be a singe line in the sand determining right or wrong? In our decisions, our lives, or at the end of them? Isn’t it true that sometimes there is no ‘right’ choice to be made? That sometimes, you’re fucked either way.  Or, you did the best you knew how in that situation.  Or, your only ability was to keep your head above water. 

I don’t have all the answers, and it doesn’t matter.